Rebecca’s Suicide

I had been staying in Hawaii for the children; but Rebecca’s suicide spoke to me, telling me it was no longer a good idea. The message was clear. It came to me the moment I got the news. I shed no tears. I simply sought presence, in the now, the current moment, that moment to keep me from completely losing it. I gazed at the glistening shimmer of the sunshine on the rippling ocean surface. From that moment, I needed to keep my mind on what I needed to get done — that kept my mind from swirling the abyss of unanswered questions and heart-break. And even with that concentrated effort, my mind still had moments of meandering that abyss. It has been necessary for me to let go of the need to have closure. With so many unanswered questions, there is no closure.

This online home, BabyBecca.com, was inspired by Becca’s death. She will always be my Baby Becca. It’s content had not come to me — until now, almost three years later. Here you will see my three children during their formative years. It’s what I choose to share with you as I FINALLY afford the time to rummage through the many, many, many pictures and videos I’ve taken over the years as they grew. I’ve always prided myself in being a mom. I still do. However, I needed to change how I mommed for the sake of me, and the children. I could not be any good for any of us, if I didn’t take care of me first. Life lessons will also be shared here, in hopes that my children visit here and digest it all. The content will always be appropriate for children.

Thank you for stopping by and hope you visit again soon. I hope to provide continual content to share with my children, with you and your children. When a post declares, “Hey Kids!”, I’m speaking directly to my two children; and, at the same time, I’m speaking to you. If you’re an adult, a parent, I’m speaking to you but I’m not calling you a kid. Because, this site is dedicated to my three children: Becca, Son, and Daughter (Their names omitted for their privacy).